Monday, February 14, 2011

Naughty Needles: Sexy, Saucy Knits for the Bedroom and Beyond

Naughty Needles: Sexy, Saucy Knits for the Bedroom and Beyond by Nikol Lohr

Have you been knitting for Valentine's Day? In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided that this, *achem*, less conventional knitting book would make for a good post.

First impressions: There is definitely a retro edge to many of the patterns (see the cover photo). Overall, the patterns are very racy. Let's just say that this is not a child's knitting book. I will describe some of the patterns, but I will leave some others for you to discover yourself. This book certainly kills the idea that only grandmothers knit!

This book expects that you are familiar with the knitting basics, the patterns range from easy-peasy to intermediate. There are bonus patterns and variations online, which weren't able to fit into the text itself but the text references and directs you to the website.

The Chapters
  • The Introduction: Knitting is Sexy, "it fuses vision and skill into a creative superpower."
  • Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice: Sweet, Sexy Patterns
    • Fembot - Babydoll, using fuzzy and see-through yarns to make a little nighty. This one actually looks pretty real, versus a "home knit" version of a classic garment.
    • The Great Bikini Experiment - There are different variations, including "Not That Inocent" (Yes it is a Britney Spears reference, and the outfit is actually well covered for a bikini) and "Gidget Goes Hawaian" (see cover photo). I don't think that knit bikinis are very practical for anything other than practicing your skill at making things fit. If you take something knit into the water, it will likely stretch out and fall off! I think the use should be limited to laying out in the sunshine.
    • Bond Girl - This is a top that has a fun silhouette. 4 straps all meet in the center of the back. If you chose to knit this in a non-sparkly yarn and without eyelash fluff, this could be even a going-out top. (As shown it looks a bit bedroomy). There is a Goldfinger Dress Variation, which hits mid-thigh, and I personally think is cuter than the top itself.
    • Kinderwhore - These are your basic, ribbed knee-socks.
    • Lolita - "Garters that hold up very plain and limp socks." I was expecting to see a pattern for the fishnet socks they appeared to hold up, but this is just a pattern for the garter.
  • A Little Bit Naughty - Not too tarty, not too sweet
    • Zelda - This dress looks like a elongated tank. It is shown safety pinned to thigh high stockings. I personally feel it would have been more elegant to add some straps to clip to the stockings... the pins pull at the garment a bit.
    • Ice Vixen vs. Cave Girl - I am actually impressed that these "bikinis" look like they could belong in a sexy prehistoric scene. Not that I'm recommending that you wear these to a public costume party!
    • Certainly Naughty Patterns - These I will leave up to your imagination: Dirty Secrets Pillows and Condom Critters.
  • Dirty Needles - Heavy Petting
    • Criss-cross Gloves and Garters - The gloves and garter belt are laced up with ribbons (this must help with the fit.)
    • Mrs. Robinson - Just a sparkly bra.
    • Certainly Naughty Patterns - Hootchie Kootchie Pasties,
  • Bound and Determined
    • Felt Up - (Haha!) a felted corset with ribbon closure on the back.
    • Bound and Determined (I'll let you use your imagination), Baby Blue Ball Gag, Straightjacket, and Disobey Madame At Your Peril.
  • Dress Up - Costumes and Role Play
    • Nursie - A nurse's Cap
    • Siren - A mermaid tail... that will fit you. I found this quite impressive. There is a coordinating "Fish Net" Scarf.
    • Arrgh! - Pirate Eye patch
    • Into the Woods - Little Red Riding Hood cape.
  • Techniques - Some of the more advanced techniques are explained.
I had one major problem with this book: The pictures focused on a scene, and in some cases you could not tell what the knit object is if the title isn't descriptive (until you look at the pattern itself.) I prefer when knitting books show detailed photos of the products, and THEN also the item in a scene. There were many cute references to sexy icons, but the accessories and styling, not the knit objects themselves, created the characters.

This book is a fun novelty item, and could make a good bachelorette gift for a knitter.

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